The Four Things
Hello again friends!
I just wanted to say thank you to everyone that read my last post and gave me so many words of encouragement! It means so much to me.
When I woke up this morning (on my very first snow day as a teacher, I might add), I was just not hungry. All I wanted was to eat all my Power Crunch Cookies and Cream protein bars. Nothing else sounded appealing, but......I have macros I have to take into consideration. If you haven't tried Power Crunch bar, you really need to. I have a link here for their website, they fit macros really well and taste so yummy! Anyway back to the point.
It was frustrating to look in the fully stocked fridge and not want anything, but know that I needed to eat. It was a shocking contrast to how I used to think and got me thinking.
When I was younger, I had a very unhealthy mentality and relationship with food. I restricted everything I ate to the point where I lost a lot of weight -too much weight- and thankfully, shocked myself back into eating more. If you would like more of the full story, click here.
I've had a few times in the last 11 weeks where I am tempted to fall back into the restrictive mindset. The old, comfortable thoughts of; if I eat less, I'll weigh less or do you really need to eat that?, start to crawl into my head. And I've also had thoughts to the other extreme as well. Where I just need to eat everything I can, because if I don't eat it now I may not get to eat that particular food again. Christmas was especially hard because my husband and I were overseas visiting family. When we were visiting them, I got the opportunity to have all the Polish Christmas foods that I don't usually get to have. But, I was petrified of gaining weight and losing progress. So I would overeat some foods that wouldn't necessarily hurt my progress all because I didn't want to be hungry and tempted to eat the foods I was craving when they were presented. Foods like poppy-seed cake, pierogi's, sugar cookies, gingerbread cookies, all the bread and soups! Oh gosh, I'm hungry now.
As everyone knows, eating an abundance of healthy food isn't good for you either. Calories in vs. calories out is what is going to make or break a day of eating. Just like hitting your macros is so important to make sure that your body is burning calories at an efficient rate while also getting you the right nutrition and giving your body everything it needs to run correctly.
So I either go to one end of an extreme to the other, and one of my goals is to not be like that. I want to be able to continue going strong and eating correctly as per my coach's instructions.
When I first decided to partake in a show, I also had to go to a doctor that I hadn't been to before for my new health insurance. I brought up the possibility of competing.
Keep in mind that I had never met this doctor before in my life.
When I brought up that I was wanting to start training for a show, he blew up. I had never met him before, I hadn't told him about my anorexic tendencies, he just went off on a very long rant about how it was a bad idea. He didn't explain to me why it was a bad idea, he just put all of his own theories and opinions on me to try and change my goals.
While it made me feel annoyed that he was projecting his feelings about a matter onto me to get me to change my mind, it did make me think. Was competing a good idea for someone who thought like me? Would it be the thing to push me into restrictive eating again? Would I be able to pull myself out of that mindset again?
I have 4 things that I think will prevent me from falling into restricting again.
1) My husband. My husband has always been so protective of me. He's always making sure that I'm eating enough, that I'm being healthy and smart about my meals for the day. I can't forget that he does all this while also making sure that I'm happy. He's extremely supportive, even joining me on his own fitness journey. (I'm so proud of him!)
2) My parents. My dad, step-dad, mom and step-mom are very supportive of me reaching my goals and always encourage me to keep doing what I'm doing and listen to my coach. They tailor their meals to help me reach my goals, they keep my spirits up and that means so much.
3) My coach. My coach is always answering my many questions, giving me ideas and giving me feedback. Every time I express that I don't think I'm doing well, she always assures me that I'm on track. It's reassuring that she is more focused on how my body is functioning rather than how much I can cut.
4) The knowledge of my own triggers and the understanding that I don't want to hurt my own body just for the sake of a show.
So far, I'm doing well. I'm trying to surround myself with positive, motivating podcasts, books, friends, books, etc., to keep reminding myself that I can do it and I can do it right!
I just wanted to say thank you to everyone that read my last post and gave me so many words of encouragement! It means so much to me.
When I woke up this morning (on my very first snow day as a teacher, I might add), I was just not hungry. All I wanted was to eat all my Power Crunch Cookies and Cream protein bars. Nothing else sounded appealing, but......I have macros I have to take into consideration. If you haven't tried Power Crunch bar, you really need to. I have a link here for their website, they fit macros really well and taste so yummy! Anyway back to the point.
It was frustrating to look in the fully stocked fridge and not want anything, but know that I needed to eat. It was a shocking contrast to how I used to think and got me thinking.
 |
| At my smallest, notice the collarbones protruding. I've blocked faces because I haven't gotten permission to post this picture from the ladies in the photo yet :) |
I've had a few times in the last 11 weeks where I am tempted to fall back into the restrictive mindset. The old, comfortable thoughts of; if I eat less, I'll weigh less or do you really need to eat that?, start to crawl into my head. And I've also had thoughts to the other extreme as well. Where I just need to eat everything I can, because if I don't eat it now I may not get to eat that particular food again. Christmas was especially hard because my husband and I were overseas visiting family. When we were visiting them, I got the opportunity to have all the Polish Christmas foods that I don't usually get to have. But, I was petrified of gaining weight and losing progress. So I would overeat some foods that wouldn't necessarily hurt my progress all because I didn't want to be hungry and tempted to eat the foods I was craving when they were presented. Foods like poppy-seed cake, pierogi's, sugar cookies, gingerbread cookies, all the bread and soups! Oh gosh, I'm hungry now.
As everyone knows, eating an abundance of healthy food isn't good for you either. Calories in vs. calories out is what is going to make or break a day of eating. Just like hitting your macros is so important to make sure that your body is burning calories at an efficient rate while also getting you the right nutrition and giving your body everything it needs to run correctly.
So I either go to one end of an extreme to the other, and one of my goals is to not be like that. I want to be able to continue going strong and eating correctly as per my coach's instructions.
When I first decided to partake in a show, I also had to go to a doctor that I hadn't been to before for my new health insurance. I brought up the possibility of competing.
Keep in mind that I had never met this doctor before in my life.
When I brought up that I was wanting to start training for a show, he blew up. I had never met him before, I hadn't told him about my anorexic tendencies, he just went off on a very long rant about how it was a bad idea. He didn't explain to me why it was a bad idea, he just put all of his own theories and opinions on me to try and change my goals.
While it made me feel annoyed that he was projecting his feelings about a matter onto me to get me to change my mind, it did make me think. Was competing a good idea for someone who thought like me? Would it be the thing to push me into restrictive eating again? Would I be able to pull myself out of that mindset again?
I have 4 things that I think will prevent me from falling into restricting again.
1) My husband. My husband has always been so protective of me. He's always making sure that I'm eating enough, that I'm being healthy and smart about my meals for the day. I can't forget that he does all this while also making sure that I'm happy. He's extremely supportive, even joining me on his own fitness journey. (I'm so proud of him!)
2) My parents. My dad, step-dad, mom and step-mom are very supportive of me reaching my goals and always encourage me to keep doing what I'm doing and listen to my coach. They tailor their meals to help me reach my goals, they keep my spirits up and that means so much.
3) My coach. My coach is always answering my many questions, giving me ideas and giving me feedback. Every time I express that I don't think I'm doing well, she always assures me that I'm on track. It's reassuring that she is more focused on how my body is functioning rather than how much I can cut.
4) The knowledge of my own triggers and the understanding that I don't want to hurt my own body just for the sake of a show.
So far, I'm doing well. I'm trying to surround myself with positive, motivating podcasts, books, friends, books, etc., to keep reminding myself that I can do it and I can do it right!
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